


what the fire leaves behind

by alissae



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, POV Second Person, basically an andreth feelingdump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 04:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alissae/pseuds/alissae
Summary: Andreth, after Aegnor.





	what the fire leaves behind

1\. There is a second sun reflected in the water. You look up, and freeze as he walks towards you, his flame consuming you from the inside out, and when he extends a hand to pull you up he burns you with his touch. It’s too much, you think, for you to handle, but he convinces you otherwise, filling you with a fire that is not yours until you have no choice but to follow or be left behind as an empty shell, always wondering what could have been.

2\. It hurts to look at him for too long. He alternately promises and withholds his warmth; one moment he is filling you with the same fire you felt when you first met him, the next he pulls away and you are left hollow as he becomes distant, untouchable like the rest of his kind. Still, you look at the bright flame of his hair and chase him as he leaves until you cannot find his light. When he dies you do not notice the distant fire going out, but the cold around you deepens, intensifies until you cannot bear it.

3\. You speak often with Adanel, and she teaches you what he always knew: you were not meant for the light. When you realize this, the cold becomes a little more bearable, your anger providing distraction as you ask yourself why you were fated to end up like this, alone in the neverending darkness.

4\. Finrod visits, and each time you hate him anew, for his brightness, so like your flame, and yet not. While he talks, you look away, and wonder if you will ever see him without thinking of another man’s blond head, reflected in a pool of water. Eventually, his visits become another part of your weary life and you realize that you only ever hated him because he had everything you ever wanted but was still unhappy, still sought comfort in your company. You hated his hair, bright as the sun, but too tame.

5\. It’s been a long time now, and you’re almost used to it. The cold has seeped into your bones, where it belongs, and you remember your place in the world. He knew this, you think, that the warmth you received from him could only ever be temporary. You were destined for the cold and dark, for the places where he could not follow. 

6\. There was a brief time, when the hollow passages of your soul were filled with light. Now, you gaze up into the sky as your vision fades into black, and know that this burnt-out shell is all that is left to you. Soon you will leave even that body behind, becoming the darkness you have feared for so long.


End file.
